Menu and Seating for the Intangibles

Fiction

BANQUET FOR THE UNSEEN Course I: The Scent of a First Rain (Marginalia: Who thought this was a good idea? If 'Arid Despair' is sitting in the front row, we are going to have a steam explosion in the foyer. Move the rain service to the terrace or we risk a total washout of the linens.) Course II: A Plate of Unspoken Regrets (Marginalia: These are too heavy for the fine china. Use the cast iron platters. If one of these drops, it will go straight through the floorboards and into the basement. I am not paying for the structural repairs.) Course III: The Weight of a Long Silence (Marginalia: Warn the waitstaff. If a server clears their throat or drops a fork, the dish curdles instantly. Absolute silence is required from the kitchen to the table. No exceptions.) Course IV: The Taste of a Forgotten Childhood Dream (Marginalia: Keep the portions small. Too much of this and the guests start wandering off into the walls. We cannot afford to lose another guest to the drywall.) SEATING CHART: TABLE ONE Seat 1: Pure Logic Seat 2: Paradox (Marginalia: ABSOLUTELY NOT. Move Paradox to Table Four. If these two sit side by side, the room will fold in on itself like a wet cardboard box. I am not dealing with a non-Euclidean cleanup on a Tuesday.) Seat 3: Nostalgia Seat 4: Ambition (Marginalia: Keep 'Indifference' between them. Nostalgia keeps trying to drag Ambition back to the appetizer, and Ambition just wants to eat the table. They are a liability together.) Seat 5: Grief Seat 6: Hope (Marginalia: High risk of metaphysical collapse. If they touch, the banquet hall becomes a salt swamp. Keep them separated by at least three chairs. Use 'Apathy' as a buffer; it is the only thing that doesn't react.) Seat 7: Justice Seat 8: Mercy (Marginalia: Justice is already complaining about the lighting. Mercy is trying to forgive the wine for being corked. Just keep them away from the exit so they don't start a debate that lasts three centuries.)