The Estate of Silas Vane v. The Spectral Union Local 14 (1884)

Transcript

COURT OF CHANCERY (SPECTRAL DIVISION) DATE: November 12, 1884 CASE: The Estate of Silas Vane v. The Spectral Union Local 14 PRESIDING: Justice Alistair Thorne [Transcript begins] JUSTICE THORNE: Mr. Sterling, you may proceed with the opening statement for the plaintiff. MR. STERLING: Thank you, your Honor. The estate of the late Silas Vane seeks an order of eviction against the three entities currently occupying 14 Bletchley Lane. My clients contend that the residency of the defendants is unlawful and that their continued presence has caused significant property devaluation through excessive atmospheric dampening. JUSTICE THORNE: Define 'excessive' for the court. MR. STERLING: The ambient temperature in the primary drawing room has remained at a constant 42 degrees Fahrenheit for six months, regardless of the fuel provided to the hearths. Furthermore, there is a persistent accumulation of translucent residue, commonly known as ectoplasmic slime, upon the mahogany wainscoting. This has resulted in a warp of approximately one eighth of an inch across the east wall. JUSTICE THORNE: Mr. Grimshaw, does the Spectral Union contest these physical findings? MR. GRIMSHAW: We do not contest the temperature, your Honor; however, we contest the characterization of the occupancy as 'unlawful.' My clients, the late Mr. and Mrs. Higgins and their valet, entered into a lease agreement in 1881 for a term of seven years. Their biological deaths occurred in 1883. Under the Spectral Tenancy Act of 1862, a lease does not terminate upon the cessation of breath if the tenant remains in situ and continues to provide the equivalent of rent through a lack of disruptive haunting. MR. STERLING: The Act refers to 'passive residency.' The dampening described is an active nuisance. It is a breach of the covenant to keep the premises in good repair. MR. GRIMSHAW: The dampening is a biological byproduct of their current state. To penalize a spirit for the temperature of its aura is to penalize the entity for its very existence. It is an unreasonable demand. JUSTICE THORNE: Let us examine the evidence of the residue. Mr. Sterling, you mentioned a warp in the wood. Do you have a certified surveyor's report? MR. STERLING: I do, your Honor. (Hands a document to the clerk). The report indicates a moisture content of 22 percent in the mahogany. MR. GRIMSHAW: I must object to the methodology of this survey. The measurements were taken on a Tuesday during a heavy fog. The external humidity of London was recorded at 85 percent. How can the plaintiff isolate the 'spectral damp' from the general atmospheric conditions of the city? JUSTICE THORNE: A fair point. Was there a control room measured? MR. STERLING: The hallway was measured, your Honor. MR. GRIMSHAW: The hallway is adjacent to the scullery. It is naturally damp. The sample size of one room is statistically insignificant. JUSTICE THORNE: (Sighs). This court is not interested in a meteorological debate. We are concerned with the definition of 'tenant.' Mr. Grimshaw, if the lease expires in 1888, do your clients intend to vacate upon that date? MR. GRIMSHAW: My clients have expressed a desire to remain, given that the parlor provides an excellent vantage point of the street. They are prepared to offer a compromise: a reduction in the manifestation of residue in exchange for a lease extension. MR. STERLING: The plaintiff will not accept a compromise that involves further slime on the mahogany. JUSTICE THORNE: I shall take the matter under advisement. I suggest the parties consult the 1875 precedent of *The Ghost of Lord Penhaligon v. The Duchy of Cornwall* regarding the distinction between 'atmospheric presence' and 'property damage.' Court is adjourned.