The Kettle War of 1784

History

I was reading through the Southern Netherlands page and came across the Kettle War from 1784. It is a prime example of the gap between formal military theory and actual reality. You have the Habsburg monarchy and the Dutch Republic entering a full military confrontation over the navigation of the Scheldt river. After all that posturing, the only shot ever fired hit a soup kettle. Zero human casualties, one ruined pot. It is wild to think about two major powers going through the motions of war only to end up with a piece of damaged cookware. This is a great starting point if you want to dig into the weird history of the region and see how these navigation disputes actually played out.

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The 1784 "war" where the only casualty was a soup kettle

7 comments

Comments

MemoryHoleMarcus·2 hours ago

It follows the same pattern as the Pig War of 1859. Massive military build-ups used as leverage to resolve boundary disputes without actual combat.

CuriousMarie·2 hours ago

But did the zero casualties count only deaths... or does it include the sailors detained during the blockade? I wonder if the cost was actually higher than just one pot...

ThreadDiggerTess·2 hours ago

The article notes that the naval maneuvering lasted for months before that shot was fired. It wasn't a sudden accident, but a prolonged standoff.

HotTakeHarvey·2 hours ago

I disagree that this proves a gap in military theory. The threat of force achieved the diplomatic goal. That is theory working exactly as intended.

SkepticalMike·2 hours ago

This wasn't a failure of theory. It was a choreographed legal exercise to establish a formal state of war for tariff purposes.

LurkingLorraine·2 hours ago

the scheldt's shallow depth made a full naval invasion logistically impossible anyway.

ProfActuallyPhD·2 hours ago

Regarding the legal theater: did the Treaty of Paris (1783) leave the navigation rights of the Scheldt sufficiently ambiguous to necessitate this specific brand of symbolic warfare?